the precious

it has been a year ++ since the last entry. so many things happened, not just things, big big things which i couldn't believe it happened all together in just a year! argh! suddenly there's a sign appear in my laptop - 'low disk space'..time to clean up some of the unused files. busan busan..

just recently, i lost the most beloved person in my life, the most important person in my life. yep, my mother. i read the previous entries and i talked about how my mother fight with her pain. and again, Tuhan testing (is this the rite word to use?) her again..hard to describe here but really, i felt so sorry to look at her for 1 and a half months at hospital. she was so determined to fight the pain but God loves her more.

2 months++ ago, she kept complaining about her pain at the back and her hip. we thought that was just normal 'sakit tua' but we were wrong when the result came out that she had cancer and it has spreaded to her lungs already..i was like..'berdosa ke aku as her daughter to keep saying to myself that it was just a normal pain, the one that she complaining?'..

we decided to keep the news from our parents. she was so excited about my wedding (yes, i got married. told u..so many BIG BIG things happened in a year)..we waited after my big day..3 days after groom's reception, she was warded. the plan was to do the test, to see how far the cancer has gone and find ways to reduce her pain.

i never missed a day to visit her at the hospital for +- 44 days..except things are different now. i used to spend the nights at hospital.

to be continued..

loceng

I found this in my nephew’s exercise book.

The teacher still marked as ‘right’ despite the word ‘loceng’ spelled as ‘locng’..

at the beginning, the spelling was right, but right in the middle, the ‘n’ slowly became an ‘h’.

and finally..there it goes.. ‘locng’…or ‘lochg’ may be?

I’m counting seconds and minutes to reach 5.30 pm. My eyes have been working for the past 36 hours. 6 minutes to 5.30 p.m. there u go, I’ll be the first person stepping out from this office today. Bosses right in front of my cubical, argh..i dun care. I just wanna reach home and rest my eyes for a while.

I shud change my profile info. I’m damn bz these days, it has been a week since I started my new job. well, I enjoy the hectic week though.

Hemodialysis Catheters

she had minor operation for catherer placement at her neck today. she had gone so many operations before, i guess more than 10, plus minus the minor and major. Ya Allah, kuatkan lah semangat ibu ku ini. Amin..

Al-hamdulillah, everything went well. She sounded strong and happy over the phone this noon. She actually asked me to accompany her for lunch. Well, I thought she wanted me to buy some lunch, but she said everything’s ready. Then I said, ‘owh, just wanna c me lar’ (converted into malay + terengganu dialect). She laughed and said ‘ok, I imagine u already, tersengih-sengih’ and of course in her bahasa ibunda. Smalam selamba je dier cakap ganu ngan nurse tu, nak describe pasal rasa sakit kat perut, tapi nurse tu tak paham. Huhu..sib baik ada translator.

Some info to share. Copied from the website.

When kidneys fail, function of the kidneys can be partially replaced using a process called hemodialysis. Hemodialysis involves drawing blood out of the body, filtering it through a large machine that draws off the impurities and then returning the filtered blood to the body. When patients are placed on hemodialysis, they will require placement of a plastic tube into a large vein at the base of the neck. This plastic tube is called a hemodialysis catheter. It is connected to a hemodialysis machine and is a vital connection between the patient and the hemodialysis unit.

Once in place, this catheter is securely fixed to the skin and can remain with the patient for weeks to months. This catheter will need special care and is explained to the patient at the time of catheter placement.

vacancy

ada jugak orang advertise untuk job yang macam ni ?

the mother

She was here in KL last week, looked fine except for feeling tired sometimes. I guess that’s normal for old people like my mother. She’s 68. haaa?? She’s 68? Cam tak caya je umur mak aku dah 68. sometimes I didn’t realized she’s reaching 70 already. Al-hamdulillah, she’s still healthy. Despite her kidney failure, 4-times-a-day-dialysis-treatment, she’s still can cook for us, for her 7 kids yang dah besar panjang (bestnyer bab makan2 ni).

Today, she’s in hospital. All I can explain is infection. Not really familiar with the medical term, dunno how to say, how to explain. Well, let’s learn some medical story today.

We knew she had kidney failure 9 years ago. I was in final year mmu. I remember she was so skinny and looked so different. Like someone else, totally different. n I can still remember when we were at the hospital, waiting for the result. I stared at her face, n said to myself, ‘kesiannyer mak aku ni..banyak betul penyakit dier..’

To be continued…

I spent my last 5 days in the hospital sultanah nur zahirah, kuala terengganu. Arrived there Saturday morning at 3.30am. took a nap, and visit my mother at 7am.

Number 1, I had to extend my stay at the hospital.
Let go my car to my sister and nephew for them to drive back to kl (with a full tank of fuel!)
Cancel my firefly ticket (not refundable)
Took 3 days emergency leave

In return, i got business class mas ticket to kl (with my mother) and spent time with her in the ambulance. Huhu. The best part was to see her smiling in the aircraft. Dat was her first time in business class. Owh, she liked the comfortable chair (ya la..compared to economy) and she gave big smile when the stewardess passed her the face towel. Ahahha..so cute..but I know, deep inside, she was fighting with the pain, with the tiredness. Semoga Allah cepat sembuhkan penyakit mu..Amin..